40 years of mutual
acceptance and tolerance. We may not have been the ideal ‘Made for Each Other’
pair, but we made ‘Relationship’ meaningful. Relationship is Love, the wise
say. I have still not fully understood what Love is. But, I have understood
what Love is not. Like God, ‘Love’ is better understood by what it is not. ‘neti, neti.’
Love
is not judgmental
Love
is not conditional
Love
is not denial
Love
is not guilt, hurt, hatred or jealousy and
Love
is not many more things we presume.
And
so is Relationship too. Thank you, Lakshmi Ji for everything in my life. Thank
you, Sri Amma Bhagavan to bring home this message in my life.
I
know I am not perfect. At least, I honestly try.
T.N.Neelakantan
&&&&&&&&
An extract
from my book: SHORT STORIES FOR SUCCESS FOR YOUNG READERS: A NEW LEXICONUNFOLDED:
R for Relationship
“Your very identity comes from your relationships.” – Sri
Amma Bhagavan, Founder of Oneness Movement
That day, the children of class V were quite
taken aback by a simple question from Kamala teacher.
“Who are you?”
“I am Brinda,” replied Brinda, from the front
row.
“Who are you?” Kamala teacher persisted again,
as though she didn’t understand Brinda’s reply.
Brinda thought over for some time before she
said, “I am Brinda, student of class V.”
“Who are you?”
Brinda wondered, what Kamala teacher was
driving at. She thought she would answer differently. “I am the daughter of
Venugopal and Sivasankari.”
“Who are you?”
Brinda was now really puzzled. She didn’t know
how to explain further.
“She is Brinda, sister of Vasudev who studied
here last year,” someone shouted from behind.
“Who are you?” Kamala teacher asked Brinda once
again.
“I am a girl.” Brinda thought she gave a wise
answer.
“Who are you?”
“I am the bully of the class!” shouted Pritam
and everyone laughed.
Different answers came from different children.
But no one had any clue why the teacher was bent upon asking the question again
and again.
After some time, Kamala teacher explained to
the class, “See! It is very difficult to answer the question, ‘Who are you?’
without relating yourself to something or someone else. You are so and so, son
or daughter of so and so, brother or sister of so and so, father or mother of
so and so, a student of so and so school, a friend of so and so, or you are a
player, a dancer, a painter, an Indian, a Sinhalese, a Tamilian, a Kannadiga
and so on. Yes, let me tell you once again. We, humans, have no existence
without relating ourselves to someone else or something else. We are all
related. We are all connected. Everything in this world is connected. Without Relationship, we have no existence.
That is why Relationship is the most important thing in life. We need to preserve
and maintain our relationship with everyone else and everything else. At times,
we may even have to sacrifice everything else for the sake of relationship.”
“But, there is so much fighting going on
everywhere,” commented Sukumar.
“Yes, that is very unfortunate. People become
selfish and forget their relationship and connections. But, when we maintain a good
relationship, there will be less fight and more peace.”
“Let us go back to the Epic Mahabharat once
again. Pandavas were deprived of their kingdom. They spent thirteen years in
exile in forests, consequent to their losing their kingdom. They lost
everything. But, Pandavas were righteous people. They didn’t want a war with
Duryodhana and his brothers, just to get back their kingdom. They were willing
to give up their claim for kingdom and accept just five hamlets in its place.
They cared for their relationship which was very important to them. ‘After all,
we both Pandavas and Kauravas are brothers from the same forefathers,’ they
said.
Again when the Kurukshetra war was about to
begin, Arjuna dropped his bow and arrows, seeing all his relatives lined up on
the opposite side in the battlefield for the war. He feared all of them would
die in the war. He didn’t want to fight, as he wanted to save his relationship.
Relationship, again, was very important to Arjuna.
But Duryodhana was jealous and unyielding. We
all know what happened in the end of the war.”
“But how do we maintain good relationships?”
Sukumar asked again.
“By cultivating respect for everyone, by our
willingness to be open, trusting, listening, sharing, and admitting our
mistakes, we can develop and maintain good relationships.
There is happiness in
Relationship. Some wise man said: ‘Everything dependently arises and dependently
ceases.’ We have Mother’s Day, Valentine Day, Teacher’s Day, and Children’s
Day. Why not we have a Relationship Day?”
Towards the end of the class, Kamala teacher
introduced a unique process. Every student would have to go to every other
student, introduce himself or herself, learn about each other, hug each other
and tell that they love each other’s company. The children felt so excited
about the exercise and went about it with great enthusiasm.
≡≡::≡≡
