What I observed!Sanjay was very curious, inquisitive, seeking, wondering and marveling, practically, at everything. Everything attracted him and he was happy about everything.
He was happy all the time, in every moment. He didn’t need anything in particular to be happy. He was happiness himself. He was never attached to anything in particular, though he fancied everything he saw, touched, and felt. As his interests in things shifted from moment to moment, every moment of his life seemed fanciful.
He just didn’t seem to think. He was out of his mind all the time, I mean, outside of his mind. He did what genuinely pleased him - no matter whether it pleased someone or not, never making mental calculations, trusting the moment, trusting that there is someone to take care. He never hesitated saying ‘no,’ or ‘enough,’ without feeling guilty about it. He never found the need to keep pleasing people, yet, he pleased everyone.
His frequent crying was his only way of communicating to us that something was wrong. If he screamed, threw tantrums, or yelled, they were his way of drawing our attention when he felt it was lacking. Nevertheless, they were so temporary that even the sight of a small bird scrounging for some food in our backyard was sufficient to shift his attention. He was very demanding or adamant at times and misbehaving at other times, but it was just normal and not premeditated.
He needed nothing in particular to be occupied. He was simply occupied with anything on hand, with everything he did.
Time had no relevance to him. Yesterday, today and tomorrow were the same to him. NOW is the only time he recognized.
He might have revolted, thrown tantrums, and screamed – but that was how he was, naturally expressing his anger. We might have scolded him, taunted him, threatened him, scared him, denied him, gave him a timeout, but he was never hurt. He was beyond it. He would always come back to us, the very next moment, as though nothing ever happened. He was also amenable to our every trick to bring him in line and he had never felt bad about them.
Everything was playful and fun for him. ‘It is funny,’ was his approach. He was a source of happiness for everyone around, in whatever he did, in whatever he uttered. Maybe, he had played pranks on people or was goofing off. That was for fun. He didn’t intend anything. He imitated, dramatized, incanted many words and sounds over and over again without getting bored, created scenes over nothing, and invented his own rote method of learning and remembering. All for fun. Overall, he was rather a great entertainer.
He observed everything and everyone – our manners, what we preferred or avoided, what we accepted or rejected, when and how we dodged him, our language – good or bad, what dress we usually wore for occasions, what his parents agreed or disagreed and argued or fought about. The list was endless. We might not even know that he was observing.
He loved company even while he loved solitude and quietness. He also loved music, nature, space, fire, wind, sunshine, chillness, water, flowers, grass, birds, animals and all things in nature, all in the same breadth. He also loved teamwork and relationship. Of course, he loved some, more than the others.
He was very vulnerable, gentle, soft, innocent and at times violent too. He was also very clever and intelligent.
He didn’t really fear much, though a few things startled or scared him. He was very cautious too.
He just was; he was what he truly was: His SELF was not there, so no ego. He was just a Being rather than trying to become something. He was just natural, normal and he didn’t have to be anything different. He didn’t have to become something to be something. He was everything and Every Thing was Him. He didn’t differentiate. He was Dependence and Freedom fused into One.
To be continued …………………….